His mother is 88 years old. She adopted Pete when he was only 3 months old, in 1957. She also adopted a daughter, his sister. In her original will, she left 50% to each of her children, and that was that. Simple. Easy.
But, last fall, her two nieces (whose mother passed away several years ago) have latched onto Florence, acting as though SHE is their mother now, and they are telling her that "Pete is not your REAL son, he's just ADOPTED so he's not REALLY a part of our family, like we are," so that they could get power of attorney, take charge of her finances, and change her will.
Now the will splits up the money 50% to Pete's sister, 20% to him, and 10% to each of the two nieces, AND to the woman who is currently living in his mother's house RENT FREE, and will not leave. (She was hired to take care of Florence, but when they all conspired to send Florence to the nursing home in September, the woman just stayed on at the house, and it is now in the will that she can STAY there for 3 years after Florence dies).
These two nieces recently introduced Florence to their own children by saying, "Kids, meet your GRANDMOTHER," which threw Florence into this confused tailspin, trying to figure out why she never knew of these grandchildren of hers before, and why were they kept a secret from here all these years, and how could that even be POSSIBLE to be their GRANDMOTHER when she's really their AUNT in the first place? It went against everything she's ever known about her own immediate family, and it upset her very much. She just could NOT figure that one out, how the hell are these her GRAND children, when she's not anybody's mother except Pete's and his sister? THEIR children are her REAL grandchildren, and she knows that, but when you have these two pushy women in your face trying to tell you otherwise, it makes her brain shut down and gets her all emotionally upset about it.
The nieces are also angry at Pete because they claim that he "took" money from his mother, during his second marriage, and never paid it back to her. They don't know the details, or the circumstances surrounding this whole thing, and in fact the money his mother GAVE to him was a GIFT, that does not require being paid back. Florence tries to tell them that, but they protest and disagree with her vehemently about it, to the point where she just caves in and agrees with them just to get them to stop bugging her about it. Whenever she tries to defend Pete, they tell her that he's a liar, he is a smooth talker who gets out of responsibility and has no ability to be financially dependable, and on and on and on. They badmouth him to her all the time, and it leaves her emotionally drained.
But, it's perfectly okay for THEM to change her will so that THEY get her money. Does that make ANY sense? They are accusing Pete of what THEY THEMSELVES are doing to her.
It's so upsetting to Florence, that we are now trying to get this all sorted out and resolved, even if it's in a court of law, because it's only causing her unnecessary emotional upheaval and confusion. Add to that, the fact that she is also bipolar, and you've got quite a situation. Now the niece, who learned just yesterday that we're moving Florence in with us, is saying that Florence needs to have a psychiatric evaluation----she's going to try and fight this, by proving that Florence is not mentally capable of making her own decisions. But during the past few weeks that she's been staying with us, she's not been confused one BIT about anything, she's made her own decisions about all kinds of things, and is more mobile and more active, and HAPPIER than we have seen her in a long time.
So, I don't want to get old. Luckily, I don't think anybody will be fighting over me. I'll fade into obscurity and nobody will even remember me when I die, so that suits me just fine.
I am also glad that I don't have much money, because if you're wealthy, it is inevitable that your life is going to suck because everybody around you is like a vulture who wants to take it all from you. I would really hate that kind of life. I told his mother that if it were ME, and I had a load of money like she does, I would leave it in my will to my DOG. She smiled wryly and said, "Then they would fight over who gets your dog." And yes, she's right about that. I said, "Maybe you could leave it all to a NAKED MAN'S SOCIETY or something that totally shocks your whole family, so you get the last laugh!" She really laughed about that, saying, "I'd like to SEE these naked men before I leave them all my money!"
I told Pete today that I'm glad I'm getting the hell away from all this stuff, I'm taking off to Ocean City Maryland this weekend, for the Arts and Crafts festival. I'm flying to BWI airport and putting some much needed distance between all this soap opera crap and me. I told him that I didn't sign up for this kind of crap when I agreed to move here with him, and that it's not my battle, and I cannot handle all the confrontation and angst that goes with this tug of war.
I won't fight my sisters about anything when it comes to my parents when THEY die, I don't want anything from them, I don't need anything from them, and I want THEM to be happy. I won't have any kind of disagreement with Pete's kids, either, if he croaks on me. I'll just bow out gracefully and live in poverty somewhere far far away from all this strife. I just want to be in a peaceful happy environment, safe and secure, and provide the same environment for his mother during her last years on earth.
It breaks my heart that Florence has to be caught up in all this, but I told Pete that he doesn't HAVE to get his battle gear on at all. He could simply let her move in with us, provide her with a happy life until she passes away, and let the rest go. He doesn't need an inheritance, he doesn't need the house in Rochester NY, he doesn't need to give those nieces one ounce of his energy or his time. He can simply exact the BEST form of revenge, which is LIVING WELL.
I don't know how this will all play out, but it's got my stomach in knots and I'm all confused and overwhelmed by it too...so I can only imagine how poor Florence is dealing with all this.
I would disown those nieces if it were me. Bye for now.
Love, Becky
No comments:
Post a Comment