We are getting the house.
I will allow that fact to seep in a moment, before you react in jubilation, as we have been today.
I will now let you all whoop it up and dance your own jig...
Good, now we're all danced out and pooped, so let's discuss this amongst ourselves!!
So the homeowner calls us this morning, and instantly I'm feeling like we have been sent to the principal's office in school...my stomach is a knot of nerves, I'm biting my fingernails off, freakin' out, thinking he's going to come over and say, "Ya know, you're nice people and all, but I'm going to have to say no." I had a sense of doom and dread, being the pessimist that I am, but HOPING that I was wrong. It just felt like we were going to be let down easy or something, and I was feeling rather anxious to say the least.
He walks in, sits down, and says, "I just want to make sure that everything is set with you guys, that you definitely want the place and can pay the rent, we'll also negotiate the utilities, and I'll write up a lease next week." I sat there stunned, thinking, "My God, did he just say what I thought he said?!" And then my next thought was, "Whew, I didn't think bribing a gay guy with a blowjob would work, so THAT is one thing I won't have to do...guess I won't need that Leonardo DiCaprio mask after all." (Ehhhh gimme a break, I was starting to feel somewhat panicked about losing the house so that would have been on the list of "things to bribe them with if necessary)." He could have put a bag over my head, too, but Pete suggested the mask instead. I laughed and said, "Yeah ok, nevermind the MAN BOOBS on Leo, Mr. Gay homeowner man," and Pete said, "We'll ace bandage those puppies down nice and tight, he'll never even notice 'em."
We have a rather strange sense of humor, Pete and I. But hey, at least we laugh a lot.
So.....it's not OFFICIALLY OFFICIAL yet, until we sign this lease sometime in the next few days, BUT, it's a rent-to-own situation.....he's going to put $400 of our rent payment each month into a separate account as a 2 year plan to use as a down-payment for buying the house! That's like $10K as a down payment, plus whatever we can save in addition to that. I mean, DAMN, that's generous!! I was giddy and wanted to kiss that man, let me tell ya.
So....all of this means we've got less than 6 weeks to pack all of our CRAP...and I'm talkin', a 24 foot moving truck people, this is no lie...we've got so much CRAP everywhere around this place, it makes my head spin. So, you're all invited to our HUGE YARD SALE in a couple months when we are all moved in to our new house!!
HA!! The driveway is rather uphill and somewhat at an angle, I don't know how the HELL we'll back a 24 foot moving truck up there....I don't think Pete has thought that whole thing through yet, but it should prove to be interesting.
I didn't tell the homeowner that I've already diagrammed every room in the house with furniture placement plans and painting/decorating ideas, but he'll find out soon enough! hehehe....God I love decorating....it's so therapeutic....I'm so disgustingly in the nesting phase of my life, it's not even funny. Soon the biological clock will start ticking and menopause is just around the corner, but hey, I'll be able to go insane in the privacy of my own HOUSE soon!!!
The BEST news though, is that I have a job interview this week.....keep your fingers and toes crossed people, I told Pete if I didn't get a damned job by the end of March, somebody's head is gonna ROLL in this damned town. I've had enough of this part-time temp job crap. So, our landlord took my resume along and said there was a job opening where he works, and "gee that would be a little awkward maybe," and I joked, "Yeah, you tell me I have no choice but to work overtime tonight, or you'll make us homeless." he laughed and said, "Noooo!! No no no I would never do that!" hehehe He said he really liked us, and had a good feeling about us, and even if our credit rating isn't perfect, he said that as long as we don't have al-queida friends hanging around the place, he thinks we can all get along great----and so now it's a done deal.
I should be whooping it up, I should be dancing around and all that stuff, but right now I am just feeling CALM. For the first time in several weeks. Just a nice peaceful CALM inside. The hard work will soon begin of packing and lugging boxes everywhere, but for now I am CALM.
Still thinkin' good thoughts about a naked 60 year old Steve Perry eating birthday cake with his fingers! HOMEMADE LOVE MY MAN, HOMEMADE LOVE!! SMEAR THAT CAKE ALL OVER YER BOD!! G'HEAD, I DON'T MIND A BIT!! YAYYY!!! Ah yes, I remember when I was made into a birthday cake myself once....in DC at the local dungeon party, ahhh, I was hot waxed all over the place, with multi-colored wax dripped all over my naked body, with little frosting mounds here and there and a lit candle stuck in the frosting all over me....damn that was fun....total strangers blew the candles out and licked the frosting off me too while they sang Happy Birthday....good LORD that was the BEST birthday I've ever had in my WHOLE LIFE!! I only hope Stevie's was half as good.
.....But I digress......ahem.
We've got a lot to do in the next few weeks, but once we're moved, you're all invited over for a house warming party! Bring your own hot wax though, we only have so much to go around....!!
Love, Becky
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