I'll TELL you how this happened---Pete took me to a jewelry store inside a mall, and had me look at RINGS, that's how. GRRRR. I have NEVER, I repeat, NEVER, stopped at a jewelry store to look at ANYTHING, much less engagement rings....and wedding bands....that thought just never entered my mind. Not once. I didn't even notice jewelry stores. I don't even OWN any expensive jewelry. I never really gave it much thought at all. Those places were for rich people or stupid people who thought they'd be happy if they got married, those places weren't for ME, the chronically single female!! I don't need "bling" to be happy!! It's too materialistic!
But now, I am doomed. Yes, doomed I say, because now I'm staring at my WEDDING DRESS that I just bought TODAY, and it's hanging there, looming over my head like a noose, mocking me, and making fun of me every minute, laughing in my direction, taunting me like some kind of "I told ya so" pain-in-the-butt person that you just want to CHOKE. But, try as I might, I could not resist the dress. I saw it today and something in my heart went "ZING," and the next thing I know, I'm trying the damned thing ON, and I'm using my new iphone to take a picture of myself in it, and emailing it to Pete, to say, "What do you think of THIS?" To which he replied, much to my surprise, dismay and delight mixed together, "YES it's gorgeous!! BUY IT!!" I wrote back, "ARE YOU SURE?!!" And he said, "YES!!" So, I bought it. I can't believe it. I own a friggin' WEDDING DRESS. And the stupidest part of it is, the damned thing is WHITE!! HA!
A white dress!! Here's a newsflash: I am not a VIRGIN!! Why the HELL would a 41 year old woman wear a WHITE DRESS at her first wedding?! That just seems, well, hypocritical and silly to me....but dammit, the dress won out over all logic and reason. I am doomed. I must wear it now. I have no choice. Oh woe is me. I've been bitten, and now I'm sucked down into the midst of planning all sorts of weddingish stuff that I never had any interest in planning EVER in my lifetime, so now I'm all aflutter like some kind of sick and twisted WEIRDO.
Let me tell you though, this dress (which is worth at LEAST 20 times as much as I paid for it) was BRAND NEW, NEVER BEEN WORN, on a mannequin, with MY SIZE on the tag, and the price........are you ready for this......the price was----you'll NEVER believe this----the price was only $75 bucks. I KID YOU NOT!!! For a BRAND NEW WEDDING DRESS!!! And it is flippin' MAGNIFICENT!!! I look like a million BUCKS in this dress, and oh my GAWD I was nearly going to faint when I tried it on....I was stunning....
I said to the cashier chick, "Um....is this price tag a mistake? Does that really say $75 bucks? Shouldn't it be MUCH more than that?" And she looked at the tag and said, "No, that is the price...$75 dollars." I said, "I am going to KISS YOU!! OH MY GOD!!" And I squealed like some kind of silly school girl, like I've somehow been sucked into Disney's Cinderella cartoon, and holy CRAP I can't even STAND Disney because he was a Nazi supporter....good lord...
So I now own a wedding dress that laughs at me for being such a sucker.
Let the wedding plans begin!!! (SQUEAL!!) Stop that dammit!! WHO ARE YOU?!!
Love, Becky
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